Tuesday, September 30, 2003//
looks like this blog is 2 days late.. but still i think i wanna post. had piano lesson on sunday. was supposed to play for this new student of my tchr.. cos supposedly her interpretation of the music was not very correct. and ah. i was inspired by her instead. though she was still young and stuff.. could see potential oozing out of her. and even though she had been 'destroyed' by her previous tchr -according to my tchr-, could still see her passion for the piano. don't know. haven even met her before anything, but i just seem to feel good, and to a certain extent ashamed. i'm like 4 yrs her snr.. and yet i don't think i'm a lot better than her. it's time i buck up. but really, it feels very good to see someone who actually takes music seriously, not because 'my mom wants me to do it' or 'cos my friends are taking it' or those excuses. ah was damn inspired after that lesson.. though my tchr's purpose was for me to inspire her. but ah.. such rarieties. i just hope her passion remains. she can make a good pianist =)
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
5:20 AM
Saturday, September 27, 2003//
kinda don't know what to post these days. life is mundane, boring, unexciting. woke up at 6 plus today. probably accustomed to waking up early everyday so can't sleep late today though there's no school. and i realised my nails were long. haven't been playing on the piano the whole week. wth. can't imagine it. yesterday was out wif alison ginny xh at swensens.. then i realised when was the last time i went to town. seems pretty long ago. ahh.. weird. don't know what i'm feeling now. blog surfed for a while.. then a few entries just struck me. ah nvm. weekend at last.
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
7:21 AM
Friday, September 19, 2003//
hmm can imagine today last year. was so happy when i got my results back.. cos i passed when i thought i would fail. hmm.. -bliss-. anyway just got off the piano, only to realise that the keyboard feels very foreign having not touched it since wednesday. one year has passed. and i wonder if i had made any progress. anyway that aside. just realised there's this nice security guard at my place. this happy, friendly guy. at least it is better to come home tired and see a smiley face greeting yu than some blank faces that see yu as invisible. hmmm rocks. just hope he doesnt leave. it's rare to find such nice guards.. =)
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
11:45 PM
Saturday, September 13, 2003//
ah irritated. there's a nice piece on a site and i can't steal it cos it's embedded in the html =(
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
7:58 PM
//
blgging this for yesterday. looks like my blog has been lagging. went to meet some of the band people at ps after lunch. livia peiyan song wee and lum. and then we went to the arcade and played daytona. and of course i lost -since when does oct ever win a racing game?- and the table game. haha. it's quite funny cos we were so noisy.. and somewhere else there was this couple who were playing and they were like so quiet and stuff. and bishy bashy!! didn't really get to play much cos xh and kh came. then xh kh lum and me went to watch the turn left turn right show -sounds like tbone outing plus 1 extra- and liva py songwee went to watch pirates. walk left walk right is quite a funny show.. okok i know it's meant to be sweet. but it's funny too =) then we finished earlier than the other 3, so were just walking around ps. and finally they were done. kh went off. so did songwee. so it was just 5 of us. took 174 and headed towards hc. was just bumming around there.. and finally we played with sparklers before leaving for dinner. marche!! and 7 of us =) cos later youwei and kenny joined us. xh and i shared a crepe and then a dessert. pigs =) haha and livia bought a whole plate of sotong at the end.. and couldn't finish. and we -being nice people not wanting to waste food- played indian poker and let the losers eat the sotong. of cos not forgetting xh's fantastic finale. xh + 2 of diamonds = mouthful of sotong + nearly all the tartar sauce + all those veg. rocks. reached home like 1130 and my flu was coming back =( so went to slp. yesterday rocked =)
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
5:01 PM
Thursday, September 11, 2003//
yay pictures are up. still think the gox one rox. it was all dark. then the letters stand out =)
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
6:45 PM
//
didn't get to blog last night. it was mid autumn fest.. me xh and ginny met up at khatib arnd 830 ++. it was raining before that.. but thankfully it stopped. walked out of the house.. looking around trying to find that full moon. but seems like it was covered by clouds. nowhere to be seen. but the weather was cool at least. yeap we played wif candles below the block 832 at the void deck. at first we were trying to create a moon in the absence of the real moon, but ah well it turned out to be something resembling a heart and so we went on with the heart instead. but it was damn cool. and we took pics =) -when was the last time did i play with candles?- and yeap we played with sparklers.. and how we were trying to convince ourselves it was shooting stars we saw when we just threw the sparklers up. but we couldn't get to take any pictures. lousy photographic skills.. couldn't even get to follow the projectile motion of the sparkler. and then we made our initials!! gox.. lol. but then my cam ran outta batt =( nvm. haha. think we created a mess.. and yeap we finally got done wif playing. xh and gin wanted supper. so off we went. otah.. and that's me!! walked home.. and saw a blur silhoutte of the moon. got to the bottom of my block.. and 2 ang mohs came and said there was a power failure and the lifts weren't working =( had to run up the ten storeys instead =(
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
4:41 PM
Tuesday, September 09, 2003//
back not too long ago. saw hanyan below my tchr's block today. was about to go up the lift.. then saw this girl in engine fac shirt.. how coincidental. anyway lessons today was like usual. somehow i would undergo a myriad of feelings in a short span of 2 - 2.5 hrs of lessons. from optimism at the start.. then frustration, impatience, self-satisfaction. then finally feeling inspired again. don't know. somehow everytime after all these bunch of mixed feelings i have, the feeling of euphoria would somehow await me at the end of each lesson. today was no different. sometimes i wonder how music can change my moods so swiftly, and tremendously. but the happiness was short-lived, much to my dismay. was on the train on the way to study.. then saw this bunch of kids running around happily. and i thought to myself. those people around me who just seem so cheerful regardless of what happens.. are they really happy all the time? or is it merely a facade i am looking at? sometimes it's really hard. as people laugh and joke, even if they are really happy, is that happiness momentary, or is it in built in them? looking at those kids, thinking of how they can just blurt out whatever's on their mind. then was thinking how many times i have said i don't mind, when deep inside i do. and time and again i told myself not to care. but i can't. why? when can i ever learn to reject or to just say what i really feel? this is bad. guess i just suck at public relations.
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
5:49 AM
Monday, September 08, 2003//
Which band instrument are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
ahhh took damn long to get percussion.. cos the first time i tried i got trumpet.. then subsequent attempts just got clarinet and trombone and more trumpets.. eh olivia did yu cheat in yours?
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
12:24 AM
Saturday, September 06, 2003//
it was react yesterday. reached school quite early.. then was sitting arnd watching the people rehearse their skit.. it was a funny one i must say =) yea then those ri and rg people came. a very big bunch of people. started off with ice breakers.. the usual.. then split into our gps. yeap. originally supposed to have only clara hui en and xiaohan in my gp.. then liching and charlotte made their way in as well.. displaced the sec 2s.. lol. but ah well.. if not for them i would have died being the only gp leader with a bunch of people i don't know. lol. and manveen was crap in the morning. ah well.. nothing new anyway. yea then sectionals.. which again we did nothing. and then lunch. a very rushed one. heh. i spilled my drink! at the void deck. and ah well later hui en and charlotte spilled theirs too.. so it's quite funny. it kinda looked like some meandering river... disastrous. then combined prac. just played for our piece and went to slp. very sleepy then. and then games at the end. ah my gp won every single game!! except for the last.. that stupid soapy game. and had my hair shampooed my quite a lot of pple. gross. and finally the water bombings.. din get to play though. was abt to fill my pail at the sink.. then saw christine -the alto sax jnr- crying there. apparently she fell and chipped her teeth -ouch- it looked quite bad larh. then mr chia came along.. so tianyi and i quickly went to clean up and change.. and then we went around looking for clinics arnd ghim moh. but what to say? ghim moh is just an uncivilised place.. the clinics were all closed.. and so we ended up in nuh. heh.. then cos only one person could go in with her me eunice -the tubist- and mr chia were just waiting outside. and i wondered what was happening back at rj then. yea then finally christine's parents came.. and tianyi came out. and she dropped off at the buona vista station. eunice and i had a lift to rg.. and saw the new band tchr. the rest of the rg band people had already packed up and left. they were already about to lock the shool up. and so i decided to go home.. the rest of my batch was at nydc. totally drained on my way home.. and my phone batt just died on me. -sigh-
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
5:18 PM
Friday, September 05, 2003//
been surfing a couple of blogs.. none sounded extremely happy. somehow i think it's like that. when yu don't really know the person well enough, yu probably won't know what's really going on within the person.. like what they're thinking and feeling whatsoever. as in.. a lot of those people i see in sch or just seeing around.. they just seem different from their blogs. i don't know.. maybe it's because of the presence of people around yu.. then yu'd feel obliged to look a bit more cheerful than yu actually are. i don't know.. maybe under pressure of situation around yu, yu won't be able to be the way yu feel, the way yu think. i really don't know how things work. anyway to hell with it. it's the hols now. and i'm going for a run. shall make sure i drop dead tonight
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
5:01 AM
//
blogging this cos i din haf time yest. anyway wei came to rj =) v funny.. stupid gal went for s03 chem lec.. and after physics r xh wei peiyan christine siew were just fooling abt the band rm.. as in outside the band room.. and we video taped a damn funny video. the stupid slow motioned running to each other and hugging and stuff.. then christine siew came over and slapped xh.. lol. oh and during our bus ride to swensens.. wei was just singing the U-G-L-Y thingy.. then cos she was facing the front plus she was singing it softly xh thought it came from the tv mobile. and soon she convinced py as well.. and we spent half the time trying to tell them there's something wrong with their ears.. yea quite spastic. ah well.. that's us. then we were just sitting arnd at orchard on the stone benches outside taka. night sky.. was thinking of some stuff.. ah well. then xh finally knew what happened on the way home on the train
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
4:52 AM
Tuesday, September 02, 2003//
dunno why i just felt like keeping quiet the whole afternoon today. actually till now i still dun feel like talking much. prob got certain people puzzled again. but ah well what's new? i'm just a weirdo, easy to see through, hard to understand. then was just keeping to myself.. some music running in my head. then maybe i thought for that instance solitude would be my best company. i don't know. somehow sometimes being alone helps. can think. and you're not obliged to divert your attention elsewhere. ah i dunno. seek to understand, then be understood. but what if i can't understand myself?
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
7:07 AM
Monday, September 01, 2003//
i feel useless.
many a times people around me just get depressed. and yet i cant find the words to make them feel better. it just doesnt feel good. knowing there's someone feeling down and yet yu cant do anything to be of help. maybe i'm just an insensitive jerk -to quote quizzilla?- for some i know how the feeling is like. esp this year and last yr.. so many things happened.. experienced a lot of feelings i never did before. and for some.. sad to say i've never experienced what they are going thru. which makes it worse. cos i cant even go and console them. it's useless having someone who doesnt know trying all sorts of way to make yu feel better. happens to me. when sometimes pple just come.. i know their intentions are good. but they just dun understand. still go back to my old phrase. human relationships are just too complex. i'm not cut out to be a social worker.. i suck
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
7:02 AM
