Sunday, April 17, 2005//
hmm the date today. seventeenth comes sunday. reminds me of english folk song suite. heeZ. yep taught shunting in the morning and then sheena in the afternoon.. and spent the rest of the time practising. yep quite happy today. ran in the evening.. and learnt new things again.
1. managed to get her to play up to tempo and realised it's easier if i play with her rather than asking her to stick with the metronomme.
2. there are 52 trees around my condo. the same as the number of cards in a deck.. without jokers of course. guess running alone is really boring. but ah well since bro wants to go to the gym instead.. too bad then haha.
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
8:07 AM
Saturday, April 16, 2005//
hee. cadenza viii 3 yrs ago. still remember it. what with the thermos flask etc. heh.
today.. spent the morning practising. feel that i haven't practised enough today lol. but ah well.
lunch with family.. then out to esplanade library. listened to the recording of the polonaise.. hee kinda relieved to hear this 4-pg section being repeated later on. heh. yep but haha it's not gonna be easy ploughing thru that stuff. ah well shall just take things a lil bit at a time haha.
batch gathering at mirriam's house. 6 rochalie drive. haha i still remember the house add. met with jialing shuen n weisiong at coffee club express.. then after that went to meet ginny. walked arnd cold storage and stuff. met the rest around orchard and then made our way to tanglin. haha. yep that nice beeg house. dinner. 13 of us initially. heh. all on the table.. reminds me of the last supper. bah. ginny alison swe petrina shuen jialing tianyi christina xinhui crystal mirriam kahhua and me. yep then cheryl n peiyan came later.. that made it 15! hee. quite a successful gathering. hmm and jolie forgot abt the gathering. if only we've had 16. 16 pple gathering on 16th apr. k nvm i shouldn't be so obsessed abt numbers. ya photo-taking etc.. and haha shuen's cake is nice! lol. gonna get fat tho. ya kinda nice meeting pple again.. haven't seen them for ages. ah quite tired now. and oh shuen got dunked in the pool. haha and i'm glad i din get in =) shared a cab with christina and ginny. think i shall slp early tonight. gotta teach early tmr morning. bah. chem bonding haha
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
8:17 AM
Friday, April 15, 2005//
sigh. this is depressing. practised for like 7 plus hrs today.. and am quite irritated with my progress. way too slow. only did like 3 pages (apart from getting myself more familiar with the previous pages). and that's just for learning the notes. not up to the intended tempo. no details and dynamics. and even so, there'll still be slips around. the grand polonaise is 27 pgs long.. and i'm only at pg 10. and the first section is somewhat easier technically compared to the second. sigh. getting frustrated. or maybe i'm expecting too much outta myself. but well when you practise for such long hours you'd want to see some results whatsoever. it used to be the satisfaction of learning sth that kept me going. now i don't know. whenever i'm not eating/drinking/in the toilet i just see myself at the piano. actually now i don't know what's keeping me going. progress is slow. the piece is long. and tough. maybe it's just for the sake of being able to tackle it. so many things that can be learnt from this piece. reminds me of the time when i was doing the variations serieuses. what seemed to be impossible at first became somewhat manageable. hmm. feel like crying. feel like rambling. but ah well all those are probably useless. practising and listening are probably the only useful things.
bah enough of all those not-so-happy stuff. came to realise that teaching can actually be rather satisfying at times. esp when the parent fedback to me that her kids are actually enjoying lessons. hmm. that's encouraging. good to see progress in them too. heh. and parent said not to rush their theory cos they're taking piano lessons as an extra-curricular activity. aka for leisure. now come to think of it when was the last time i actually played for leisure? hmm. practising is in no way leisurely. but ah well, at the end of the day, it's how you feel about your own playing that counts.
sth i came across again in the forum:
By taking piano lessons for the first time we are registering within ourselves a desire to make progress. We must always take responsibility for that progress, for that which we seek lies not in the music school. Nor can it be found in Vienna or Julliard. Your teachers do not own it, nor can they give it to you. You cannot buy it or take it from someone else. What we are searching for when we sit at the piano in the heat of the summer or the frost of the winter is within us all the time. What is missing for most is the ability to appreciate it.
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
7:00 AM
Tuesday, April 12, 2005//
ha we learn new things every day don't we?
running alone is about the most boring thing you can do. did just that in the evening. 4 laps round my condo.. for the first 2 i was stoning.. then for the 3rd round i counted the number of drain covers round the condo. 66 of them. and for the 4th i counted the number of parking lots outside the condo.. 132. heh. things yu do when yu are really bored. amazing
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
7:59 AM
Monday, April 11, 2005//
sigh. stupid my blog was eaten up last night when i was so tired and typing away. the stupid wireless disconnected and i couldn't recover what i typed. boo. irritating thing now i gotta retype the long entry.
haha. 11 apr. a date associated with adrenaline rush?
11 apr 1997 - 5 sch combined sports day. ran in the 100m and 4x100m.. and i remember flopping my long jump event haha. fun day. and i remember it rained before the 4x100 relay.
11 apr 2000 - cadenza vii. hee first time to play on the vch stage. an exciting event for little sec 2s like us then. can't believe i was nervous then when i was playing insignificant parts like the triangle haha.
11 apr 2004 - not sth exciting.. and not exactly sth nice.. but ah well that date i gotta remember.
11 apr 2005 - yes. yesterday. my audition. yep was kinda nervous before that larh. in the morning before i left house haha. reached there quite early.. and ha had to find my way around to get the conservatory. heh. ah and thanks all for the well-wishes.. haha they kept me occupied when i was waiting so i din really get to freak myself out. heh. msging and calling and stuff =). yep after a while i finally got to warm up haha. k the practice room was cool. ha. steinway baby grand awaited me there. and the silence inside was cool. the kind yu hear when yu're in an empty esplanade hall. the kind yu hear a ringing sound at your ear. yep. was mildly annoyed when my bass notes for the nocturne didn't sound. basically just ran thru my pieces.. 15 mins is not a lot of time anw. yep and then the time came for my audition. hee somehow the movement -walkin arnd and stuff- made me not have the time to think that much and scare myself. went in, shook hands with the 2 profs and then took my seat at the 9 foot steinway concert grand. with the lids all opened, i could see all the strings run horizontally across.. they seem unending. simply beautiful piece of art. yes seems to me like the piano is an artpiece in itself.
and so i started. prelude and fugue in d minor form bach's well tempered claiver book2. surprisingly i wasn't nervous. for the prelude, it's one of the best i've played. but somehow the nervousness crept in for the fugue. almost had a memory slip before my left hand entry at the beginning.. but haha that line came into mind. "focus on the sound" and then i went fine again. i was relieved. beethoven sonata op2 no1 next. hmm. no major slips or anyth.. quite thankful for that. think it sounds better at home tho. but again.. the best is always not during exams/concerts/audition. chopin nocturne op62 no2. heh. the bass notes sounded this time. yep slow and nice, i enjoyed myself thru this piece. this is the piece i fear most for a memory lapse. after what usually happens when i try to play this under pressure.. it didn't happen this time. focussed not on the possible errors waiting to occur.. but was looking at the strings.. listening tothe sound. telling myself it's probably a once in a lifetime opportunity i get to play on this instrument. i'm no concert pianist. so chances like these are rare and i gotta savour every moment. a small slip at the improvisatory part.. not really a slip but one of the notes didn't sound. but happy enough i managed to carry on without breaking down. and got stopped at the middle of the agitato section. not enough time. but ah well was expecting that since the remaining part of the music is somewhat a repeat of the previous sections. and yay skipped the chopin etude. phew. debussy's next. la plus que lente. hmm. think i usually play better.. more expressive and stuff. and the appassionata section is definitely better when i practise. but ah well not that bad i hope. got stopped right before a very mistake-prone section due to the lack of time. i was so thankful haha. had i carried on i think i would have probably botched that section or sth. yep. so that was it. was happy with myself. happy for not being nervous such that i got to enjoy playing. and i wonder why. i wasn't shaking like a leaf! in fact i think my hand shook when i was playing for lesson.. but not for this. and i recall all those butterflies in the stomach before exams etc.. i remember my legs shaking at my g8 exam. hee. satisfied enough. certainly not my best rendition, but yes it was a good experience =). results would be out late apr.. but somehow not thinking too much abt it now. whether i get in or not.. it's not as if i'm gonna drop the piano or sth. glad i've got the chance to play. now time to wait to strike lottery so i can buy myself that piano too.
got out and then had lunch with my parents.. duck rice. haha. and then went walking arnd at ginza to kill time. theory test after that. haha that was short. and yay i was spared from the eng test. bah. thanks to gp results lol. apparently they said they din receive my a level results slip.
took bus 10 to esplanade after that. reached at arnd 1515. wanted to look for chopin's grand polonaise score but was of no luck. and the stupid catalogue was out of order. so went to the stage door.. waited for a while then got to the back stage. played bridge with the section and then changed out. tech rehearsal then a short prac. dinner at the artist lounge. hee. and then it was all those photo-taking and stuff. and then it was our turn to play. finally back on that stage. having not been there for almost a yr. yep. stress-free. no performance jitters. no responsibilities.. no worries. just fun. the time spent playing is short. was over in no time =) heh. ya was tired after that and got home after hanging around for a while. and oh saw mona chew and her husband! haha. she was in all white heeZ. yep. happy happy day.. and night too.
and now time to explore new repertoire. finally. at last! wheee~
[Music is given to us with the sole purpose of establishing an order in things, including and particularly, the coordination between man and time. - Igor Stravinsky]
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
4:46 PM
Saturday, April 09, 2005//
tired. physically. just took flu med so i'll have an easier time sleeping tonight. ha had bad slp last night cos of a gory movie. bah. the messiah. borrowed the book, gave up reading cos i found the descriptions too gross. then last night bro happened to catch it on axn, and asked me to watch too. bah but it was bad.. seeing this serial killer thinking that he's god, killing people with the names of the apostles.. argh. and saw this guy being crucified.. and had his tongue cut out and a silver spoon stuck in his mouth. bah. looks like my tolerance for gore has gone down quite a bit. thrillers and action were all i read/watched long ago.. kinda sadistic then. but now haha can't stand those stuff anymore. bad.
yep. spent this morning practising. had lunch at j8. and then to ri for band prac. ha our last before a tempo. wow it's kinda fast. came back, had dinner and started practising. for once i'm trying to find every opportunity i can to play. never had this feeling. never played this much. never been this serious. ah well. yea but very tired now. but at least i feel productive. ha wonder if it's just me wanting to slp, or the med is taking effect v quickly. ha actually i like this. to be able to fall aslp within seconds i lie on the bed, and to be able to slp thru to the morning without waking. hmm. =)
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
6:40 AM
Friday, April 08, 2005//
sigh. just as i need someone to talk to now.. the usual bunch of people i talk to are not around.
this is scary. barely 3 days left. been doing quite a bit of serious practice these days. but some how i can never feel too secure.
today at lesson, i practically blanked out before my chopin nocturne. totally din know how to start. when i've had no problems with that beginning whatsoever. yes. i stared at the keys.. then at my hands.. and then at my tchr. gave that sheepish look and said i can't start. even though after a short while it all came back to me and i was able to play again, it felt horrible. now i know what the people at pianoforum meant by blanking out in a piece. dreadful.
and at home, when i was practising.. -pretty tired after like 5 hrs today- i realised i'm not thinking anymore. i wasn't focussing on the sound and anything. my mind was like stoned.. and my hands went on autopilot. sick.
feel like crying. no. i feel like playing again. and play it decently so as to reassure myself. bah. so much work. let's hope it won't be screwed just cos of nerves.
mr chong: "when you go in, focus more on the sound, and the notes would come naturally. "
youwei: "haha! it's a steinway yu'll be playing.. who doesn't play well on a steinway?"
haha maybe i should remember those words. =)
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
6:27 AM
Thursday, April 07, 2005//
hmm how do i describe this feeling now?
happy? mixed up? ha i can't tell. a bit hyper.. and yet something's telling me that's not all.
hmm let's see what have i been doing the past few days?
2 apr - band prac.. then taught sheena at night
3 apr - taught shunting in the morning.. then haha i fell sick
4 apr - can't remember much. apart from it being a wet monday. very nice weather.
5 apr - went with wx to play rhapsody in blue for mr chong.. another rainy day.
6 apr - spent the day at home.. practised quite a bit. not much time left.
7 apr - hmm. prac in the morning. and heard the commentator at the sports day at yishun stadium.. going by the houses' names, i figured it was cfps. confirmed with mrs chan but too bad i realised too late. they were ending soon. i wonder what's happened to the 5-sch-combined sports meet. i miss that. the adrenaline. being so nervous before a race etc. helen came in the late morning. went for lunch.. then off to teach joanne and jocelyn. took 171 back (not as long as i'd expected.. but ah well hungry for dinner)
yep been quite happening tho i haven't been working much etc. hmm. and now thinking of playing duet. grr. need a partner lol. bah where can i find one? classified ads? haha. if only my bro plays.. bleagh. let's hope one fine day i can play with my student.. not easy to find someone who can click..
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
6:59 AM
Friday, April 01, 2005//
April's Fool todaY! Nothing great about that actually =) Friday. Just the usual.. piano lesson.. and then shopping around with mom =) Bah spent quite a bit today on 3 skirts and a shirt.. but happy enough. I'm getting my pay tomorrow and teaching Shunting on Sunday. Plus now with mandy's cousins =) And a potential 3 more piano students next month if things work out =) Good enough reason for me to splurge once in a while heeZ =) Anyway, here's something I came across at pianoforum.. pretty interesting.
Didn’t you know?
The purpose of schools (and any institutionalised system of teaching) is not to teach. For the little children the purpose of school is to have a place where parents can leave their children in relative safety so that they can go of to work and be slave to keep the economic machine running. You see, the state cannot tolerate anymore that someone (used to be the woman) stays at home taking care of the children and giving them personal education. No, everyone must work! So all those things that parents used to do with their children is now done by strangers (finger painting, baking cookies, and all those things that they do at school so that learning is fun). The child goes to school at 8 am, stays there until 3:30 pm, then goes to after school club, art class, piano lesson, oboe lesson, violin lesson, karate kids club, and get home at 6:00 pm, has dinner and bed. So children do not really make bonds with their parents anymore.
You see, a strong state must have a weak family. A strong family is a threat to the state. Why do you think the Mafia is organised on “family” principles?
Then as you grow up, the purpose of school is to teach you to not rock the boat. Oh, yes, you will learn to write essays and to argue your way about anything, specially things you know nothing about. They will give you diplomas and certificates and credentials. But do they give you skills? The truth is, to keep the machine working you do not need skills. You are going to get a job that any moron can do. They are going to give you a credit card with a huge limit so that you get into debt and cannot leave the job any moron can do – but for which you need the highest credentials: it shows you spend time at school and have been well trained to be a slave.
I am surprised you are surprised that they do not use what we know from learning psychology at school. But actually they do. They know exactly what they are doing. Look at the results: it is what they aimed for from the beginning.
Here is a story.
An airplane carrying several congressmen fell down in some farm. The authorities eventually tracked it down and asked the farmer what had happened. The farmer replied: “Oh, yes, an airplane full of politicians fell in the fields. I buried them all”
The investigators asked: “Were they all dead? Are you sure?”
The farmer laughed: “Oh, some of them kept shouting they were alive as I threw earth on the grave, but you know, these politicians are all a bunch of liars, so I was not about to believe anything they said.”
--The calm ocean of the stormy sea--
6:54 AM
